Another incident

After 9 days of not binging, I gave in last night. At first it was alleviating but after I finished the cereal, threw it up, and kept eating random things I didn't even want, I literally asked myself "why am I still doing this?" The answer is...I honestly don't know. I knew I would feel like shit this morning. I have work in a half hour and of course I feel disgusting. My parents are really mad at me for binging and not cleaning the kitchen. I'm still crying and wondering why I can't just grow up at stop this.