i hate myself

OMG I ate again. I am so fat. It wasn't even goo. I didn't throw it all up. I'm freaking out. I want to kill myself. I'm gonna get so fat. Here's what I just ate:
mini wheats with chocolate milk
peanut butter and jelly
two chocolate chip waffles with vanilla icing
chips with cheese and con queso

...

Just send me away

Can't believe I did it again. Didn't even try to fight it last night. My parents went upstairs and I just took advantage of my opportunity. That's the second time this week and now I want to do it again. This is ridiculous. I have so much to do and I feel like a complete waste of life. I don't even want to tell Taylor about this. Everyone will just get fed up with my bullshit. I'm surprised I still have parents. I suck.

Yet another slip up

I know it's been a while but I really need to vent. My binging has cut down to about once every 2 weeks so I guess I've made progress, although it doesn't really feel like it. I binged last night and felt like absolute shit today. The only reason my binge didn't carry on through today is because I had to work so I worked out and then went to work. I didn't feel as fat as I thought I feel at work so maybe I threw everything up. It sure felt like it. Something has changed about my binges though. They aren't as enjoyable as they used to be. I think I am thinking too much and getting guilty before the binge even ends. I guess that's good though. I hope it makes me want to do it less.