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I know I haven't posted in a while. I wish I could say that this is because I'm getting better but it's not. In the past month I have had two marathon binges that both lasted two days. I just had the second one and can't even describe the guilt and struggle I'm going through now. I know I'm wasting my life. It's not only the fact that I ate a shitload but I wasted two days in bed when I have plenty of things to get done. This fucking bulimia is ruining my life and it's my fault for letting it get the best of me. Not only is it ruining my life but my friends and family, who are trying so hard to be tolerant and help me, but I know when I'm in that state I'm like a brick wall. I don't know whats wrong with me. I can't keep treating people like this. At this point I'm not only doing this to myself. I'm affecting everyone around me.